Finding Myself


It’s like I’m not spiritually strong.

My insides are running all over the place because I can do wrong.

I’m being good but I want to be bad.

But for what though? It’s not fulfilling.

I was entertained yet still sad, and lonely, and bored, and really unamused.

To do the same thing repeatedly and expect a different result is insanity.

So why do I have to try so hard to bring out the disciple in me?

Why am I inclined to not do what’s best for me?

It’s all just thoughts because I haven’t done anything. I just want to.

I fantasize about it and that’s still strange.

I’m molding my mind and holding my tongue even though I want to be engaged.

Chelcey Leahman is a Graduating Senior from Harker Heights, Texas majoring in Broadcasting/Mass Communications. She will be a contributor for The Campus Chronicle during the 2018-2019 academic year.