Just Ask Jaz: I’m Tired of being “The Nice Guy”
I’m having trouble with my relationship… well I guess it’s my “situationship”, because we don’t actually have a title. I’ve been getting closer with a girl that I met on campus. She is always telling me, “You’re such a nice guy”, but I constantly feel like I’m getting away from the friend zone with her. I try to take care of and potentially solve all of her day-to-day problems such as making sure that she eats, and I’m always a gentleman towards her. I’ve even gone as far as doing work for her while she was sick. However, she still treats me like I don’t even matter sometimes. I feel as though I’m giving more than I am actually receiving. I’m always there for her, yet she always makes excuses. I know this probably sounds crazy, but I honestly think if she put in more effort, we could possibly make a great couple, however, she keeps throwing in obstacles whenever I bring up anything concerning taking our friendship to the next level. I want this to work so badly, but I am tired of being mistreated.
The Nice Guy
Dear Nice Guy:
Never stop being a gentleman. That’s an attribute that will never go out of style. Even though some may take your kindness for granted, there will be someone who will rightfully treat you like the king that you are. The problem is often times we settle just to have someone in the moment. Let’s be realistic (this may hurt a little) you may be interested in her, but if she’s giving you clear signals that she’s not interested in anything more than just using you and being friends, move on. If you decide to stay, you’re giving her the okay to continue to take advantage of you. You’ll become the guy who kept being mistreated and unappreciated just to have what you thought was love. You probably find yourself doing things for her and saying, “It’s okay, I’m not going to worry about it” when deep down inside you know it’s definitely not okay. Because you didn’t want to lose her, you’ll end up losing yourself in the process. You have to understand that no girl is worth losing yourself for, nor is any girl worth suffering for at the expense of your happiness. So focus on yourself and at the right time, the right girl will come along and appreciate you. What is for you will not have to be forced. Now go get yourself back. Stay strong and see it through.